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Thanks to everyone who came and revealed all at the Art of Confession, V&A Friday
night late. Thing is, I, yes I take the blame, was a bit late on posting info about
the event. I hold my hands up! How are you expected to drop everything because we
casually mention THE DAY BEFORE, that we are having a get together. You are busy
people, I know that.
So, that is why, this time I am giving you 9 DAYS notice for the next French Connection
Friday Night Late at the V&A.
Yup, on Friday 27th (that is one week from this Friday) we are bringing you China.
China, right in the heart of South Kensington. Not all of China obviously, but we
want to take you on a journey into China’s bright, colourful and vibrant youth culture,
as we celebrate the CHINA DESIGN NOW exhibition with BEIJING
FRIDAY LATE.
We have a whole host of Chinese talent from the UK and China – music, short films,
animation, interactive goodies and real tours around all things Chinese and brilliant.
And of course there will be djs and drink. China, culture and chardonnay (probably),
I can’t think of a better way to spend a Friday evening.
There, now plan ahead and come see us. We look forward to seeing you there.
Beijing Friday Late
Victoria and Albert Museum
Friday 27th June
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The V&A last Friday night, home to old dresses, ancient stones and for one night
only, the French Connection Friday Late: the Art of Confession. We told you about
it last week and you came in your barrel loads. It was packed to the ornate ceilings
with the cool folk. The really cool folk just hanging out and drinking. The kind
that make you a bit nervous, but make you feel sexier just by association. We love
them, but phew did they have some stories to confess. Tales of sex, debauchery and
fashion, some of which we are still trying to block out with therapy. And then there
were the confessions that made us want to cuddle them up and take them home. Of
course ourselves and guest curators, Bad Idea, absolved them all, even the scary
ones and sent the confessors home with a clean slate. You can almost see the innocence
in their eyes….
French Connection Friday Late: the Art of Confession. Copyright V&A Images
www.badidea.co.uk
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French Connection have gone and got themselves all arty. Well, sort of. What they
have actually done is paired up with the Victoria and Albert museum to sponsor their
infamous Friday Lates events. They have already done one, the Blood on Paper night,
and you should be kicking yourself that you missed it. BUT lucky you, there is another
one this Friday – that’s is tomorrow, yes, sorry for the short notice. We have been
busy dirtying up our souls in anticipation.
This is The Art of Confession. And let me tell you, confessing
is very good for you. Getting all that bad stuff out and all that. So spend an evening
letting it out, wiping the slate clean if you like and then you can top it back
up again with a whole new choking list of secrets.
There are a number of ways you can reveal your true colours, some more anonymous
than others. You can submit your confessional story to Tell All Printing Press,
and allow your tale to be distributed throughout the evening. Or get back to school,
write your anecdote and watch a group of actors dramatise your life in front of
you in a Soapbox Documdrama. Or even make your shame all modern
and let pro bloggers from BAD IDEA and the proper folk at the Guardian,
show you how to turn your confessions into an entertaining blog.
God there is loads of other things to do – writing, debate, films.. Personally though,
you will find us in the Confession Booth, where us, new agers,
mute marionettes and bellowing queens will offer you true solutions and absolutions
to your confessions, which we will reveal to you via a Polaroid picture. Disguises
are optional, but believe me, there is little you can say to shock us. I mean Christ,
here are some we have heard recently and they were all absolved...
• I make up statistics to win arguments
• Fashionable people terrify me
• I would do anything for money, and maybe even that
• I always tell my friends that they don’t need to lose weight,
as they make me
look thinner
• I am a feeder
• I voted for Boris Johnson
• I have no interest in Global Politcs
• I steal from Supermarkets
You see, people are horrible. We know that and we don’t judge. Not that I am…I mean…none
of these confessions are mine…none. I have said too much. To Friday everyone, with
haste.
Friday Late, this Friday 30th from 6.30pm and it is FREE and there is djs, food
and a bar! Lovely.
Check back next week for pictures of the event and lots of cleansed souls.
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There is nothing dull about menswear. For all of you who think that braces are edgy
and hats are modern, well, you are either an IT student or a newcomer to the trend
that is ‘indie musicians’. They get everywhere those Arctic Monkeys, Kooks, Kasabians
and Razorlights, but don’t let them get into your attire too.
Instead make your own fashion decisions this month, there is some fun stuff and
some truly terrifying stuff out there, but hell, so you get bullied? Everyone has
to suffer for fashion. Do you think that girls are having a lovely old time in 5”
heels and high-waisted trousers? All they want to do is sit down, but they can’t.
Stop whinging and get...
...Knickerbockers
As catwalked by... Comme des Garcons, John Galliano, Jean Paul Gaultier, Alexander
McQueen
We feel the need to drop you in at the fashion deep-end. Velvet pantaloons anybody?
No? Ok, maybe we will try that next season. Really, by knickerbockers, we just mean
narrow shorts. To the knee. Tights are optional. Think them supportive, thus practical.
Although you may give a little bit too much away in the Galliano designs, so something
slightly looser around the groin is probably a better look.
...Leggings
As catwalked by...Burberry, John Galliano, Alexander McQueen, Vivienne Westwood
Let’s face it, we all new that tight was going to get tighter. Denim may be getting
looser, but you now have the choice of jodhpurs or leggings to keep you wrapped
up. McQueen went for a sporting look in bright colours and wetsuits, while Westwood
stuck to spandex, of course. Matching singlets are optional.
N.B. Please, please, please, no chubby bums in Lycra.
...A Tuxedo
As catwalked by...Dolce and Gabbana, Cavalli, Dsquared, Gucci, Lanvin, Versace
At last, smart has made a return. Until now, tuxes made an appearance at weddings
and were dusted off for the final school ball. Well now you have an excuse to slip
into a sash collar and flash trousers for the most casual of affairs. And anything
goes, velvet, silk, hell, even a poly mix. Break open the DAX and get that hair
slicked back and channel those Gucci boys.
...Bright Colours
As catwalked by...Burberry, Dries Van Noten, Fendi, Gucci, Paul Smith
Of course it is a colourful season, it is the summer after all! And all as it should
be, as soon you will not be able to move for yellow. Canary, acid, mustard, lemon,
all of it. Everywhere. That is one reason to be cheerful. Pink, purple, green, red,
blue and orange are some more.
...Cardigans
As catwalked by...Dsquared, Emporio Armani, Fendi, IceBerg, Missoni, Prada
We have to give you some safer options for all you scaredy-cats out there. A cardigan,
whether oversized and chunky, or skinny and fine, will tone down any big fashion
challenges you take on. And keep you snug as a bug. Of course.
...Pyjamas
As catwalked by... Comme, Ann Demeulemeester, Prada, Dries van Noten, Henrik Vibskov
At last, the moment we have all been waiting for. A time when we can fall from our
beds and leave our homes, without the changing process. Pyjamas are everywhere.
They are maybe not sold as pjs, but they are inspired by. Stripey loose trousers,
worn with matching shirts at Comme, printed silk bottoms with a ‘come-stroke-me’
top at Dries. This is worth getting up for.
...Sheer
As catwalked by... Alessandro Dell Acqua, Jean Paul Gaultier, Calvin Klien, Jil
Sander
Hello nipples, it has been a while. Revealed through sheer, stiff white shirts,
or open weave sweaters, this is their moment in the spotlight. Or for the modest
among you, stick a white vest under the transparent shirts and mix up the masculine
and feminine.
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It only takes one forward-thinking chap, with a forward (or backward) thinking wardrobe,
to start a style tribe. They seem to pop up overnight and before you can say "clones",
magazines are coining names for them, they are fronting bands and fashion campaigns.
We have had a look out of our window and here are some of the new, and not so new
boy tribes we have seen...
Who?
Those skinny, skinny boys who turn the toes inward and contort the body in an aesthetic
way that tells you how different they are.
Wear?
Check shirting in a thin viyella fabric, unbuttoned to reveal bony -milk white chest
Flat top hair, an under-bite and a lovely pair of national health glasses.
Accessories?
A book of poetry stained with the butter drips from a bit of vegan bread bought
at Whole Foods, A picture of Rita Tushingham and a DVD of " A Taste of Honey"
Lives?
In a house that they have been too long in and are blushing naturally at the thought-
Probably a squat in Hackney with some hard lads with tattoos.
What?
A bit of volunteer work at Amnesty or something else with an early 80's political
bias- Would really have loved to have gone to Manchester Poly in 86, but they weren't
born.
Listens?
The Smiths of course and Patrick Wolf, and secretly they like The Feeling cos that
boy’s mum was a lesbian who went to Greenham Common.
Where?
The filthiest, dirtiest pubs in the area, well they were filthy and dirty, now they
are clean and trendy, but decorated with books.
Why?
Because the World won't listen.
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Who?
Those quiet boys who dress enough old fashion-y to look cool, and not like they
just can’t afford new clothes. Although we wonder...
Wear?
Old tweed waisted suits, with trousers that are a bit too high on the waist and
a bit too short. Soft and characterized dress shirts with braces. Holey knitwear
and tight cardigans.
Accessories?
Elaborate and rusty brooches, oversized tatty umbrellas, bit of a decade old odour
too
Lives?
In a derelict pub turned into an art gallery
What?
Unemployed with a bar job on Thursdays
Listens?
The usual oldie subjects: Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Scott Walker, Serge Gainsbourg and
Cab Calloway.
Where?
To the Rakehell Revel and Stranger than Paradise club nights
Why?
Because of Tom Waits of course
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Who?
Those boys who initially look massively intimidating, until you realize that they
can’t weigh more than 7 stone and everything they are wearing is bloody expensive.
Wear?
Loads of black – narrow suits, skinny jeans, patent shoes. With the whitest of whiteblousey
shirts, and a pea coat.
Accessories?
Cadfael Mop Top haircuts, big belt buckles like a giant would wear, cravat and doe
eyes.
Lives?
In their parent’s nice house in Camden.
What?
Film or music engineering students
Listens?
To 1960s garage like The Sonics, to The Fall, Can and The Horrors
Where?
Nowhere dirty, they are very clean dark angels. To be found at The Dice Club and
on all Fashion Blogs.
Why?
Because of the Rolling Stones’ late Brian Jones
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Who?
Those boys who are designed to make you look bad, but you know that they never really
go to the gym either.
Wear?
Loose fitting vests with faded logos, really expensive tracksuits from Jeremy Scott
or limited editions from massive sports brands, in collaboration with a Japanese
artist. Colourful trainers, or stark white trainers - by cheap brand for irony’s
sake
Accessories?
Mini ipods and mobiles. But mainly anything tiny, irrelevant and really, really
expensive
Lives?
In either a fancy pants flat in West London, or a crap den in East, either way it
is a shit tip of clothes and rubbish
What?
Stylists or assistant stylists, which makes their clothes so hilarious...or disconcerting.
Listens?
To anything, but mainly anything poppy, eighties, or massively popular at the time
– not because they are sheep, but because they will be styling the singer next week.
Where?
Selfridges or Japan for trainers.
Why?
Because someone, somewhere at some point, made stylists really important. Their
reasons are still unknown.
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Who?
We know you know them, they have been around for EVER
Wear?
Colour, colour everywhere. Car crashing, clashing neon in everything from knee socks
and shorts to hair and glasses
Accessories?
Elongated visors and rubber shoes
Lives?
In media style flats that look like the Des and Mel studio set.
What?
Sales assistants in obscure shops, who dj at friend’s parties and claim to be stylists
because they style their flatmate on a Sunday night.
Listens?
The irony is that they are not ravers. They like prog rock like The Foals and Young
New Pony Club.
Where?
Anything to do with Super Super magazine, Agyness Deyn or Henry Holland. Failing
that, they will be smoking outside Bistrotheque, waiting to be spotted for ID.
Why?
Because of stuff that happened in the eighties when they were watching Bagpuss.
And cos of that guy Gary Card.
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Who?
Those boys who are closely related to the Granddads, but this sub-section favour
archaic moustaches and drunken exhibitionism.
Wear?
Plus Fours, Co-respondent shoes, always a double-breasted pinstripe Italian suit
Accessories?
Handkerchief (with everything), birds claw jewellery, a trunk as a man bag and a
(fake) ivory cane
Lives?
In a warehouse converted into a 1920s bar / anywhere with beautiful old things and
lots of records.
What?
Club promoters and alcoholics I am afraid
Listens?
A music snob who likes the new sounds of The Guillotines and Moses Strongpeace,
and the older rasps of Wynonie Harris and Amos Milburn
Where?
At The Last Tuesday Society events flirting with the wealthiest of women. Chap magazine
events, or anything pretentious and ill-advertised.
Why?
Because the olden days were far more glamorous than these.
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Who?
Closely related to the Nu-Ravers, these guys look like Keith Haring in his Studio
54 days before he kept churning out those crap paintings and doing ads for IBM.
Wear?
Buggles-style Red Glasses, ill fitting bright Ralph polo shirt and tight black skinny
jeans, paint splattered and worn with bashed up Docksider deck shoes- The look is
part CBGB, part Long island rich kid slumming it whilst their dad pays for the loft
space
Accessories?
Lots and lots of Argyle socks, Acrylic paint and a book on how to screen print.
Lives?
In a Huge Camelot owned studio in Dalston, opposite some Italian Anarchists that
really don't get his look, and think he really is a preppy, & of course they're
right.
What?
Artists. All artists. Terrible artists
Listens?
Early Talking Heads, MGMT, J. Geils band and Todd Rundgren
Where?
Hidden bookshops and galleries in the gentrified areas of cities.
Why?
Because only the bourgeois are afraid to look bourgeois
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Resurrection
Without wanting to get religious on you all (I couldn't even if I wanted to as my
youth spent at Sunday School was a) long, long ago. And b) spent trying to make
a Polo last the entire lesson), but this is Easter and this is when some people
talk of some one's resurrection. Details are cloudy, but I am pretty sure that is
near enough. Anyway, resurrections are everywhere these days. Whether it be the
bloody eighties raising it’s hair-sprayed head, or that Demi 'please-take-me-seriously-Striptease-was-a-joke-you-guys.-Guys?'
Moore, everyone wants us to enjoy them all over again, whether we want to or not.
FASHION
Shoulder pads
Capes
Flapper dresses
Tie-dye
Hippie Living
The ra-ra skirt
Pointy shoes
Old supermodels - Cindy, Stephanie, Claudia, Christy, Helena
Denim jackets
Ossie Clark
Halston
Brothel Creepers (again)
MUSIC
Kula Shaker
Shed Seven
Rock and Roll
Janet Jackson (not for the first time)
Mariah Carey (see Janet Jackson)
Musicals
PLANNING A RESURRECTION
The Democrats in America
The Conservatives in the UK
(If the media is to be believed)
Dune – a remake is in discussion
NOT EVEN WITH A DIVINE MIRACLE
Michael Jackson
Heather Mucca Mills
Mischa Barton
Lindsay Lohan
Heeled trainers
Bionic Woman poor - Zoe Slater Eastenders
Kerry Katona
But then maybe we should never say never....